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As a child I always looked to dating as the “thing” that we all looked forward too. Everyone was doing it. Once a guy started being interested in you that you automatically started going on dates…alone…with the “man of your dreams”. You’d start out going out once a week, then hanging out several times a week, always talking to the “one”. Then you would move onto holding hands and he’d then preform the yawn-lift-arm-place-over-your-shoulder move, which then will lead to a kiss in most times. So you might ask, why did I choose to court…
I didn’t know there was a different way of doing things. A better, safer, way of doing things. Everyone I knew just dated. I thought it was normal to date someone and then breakup and date someone else.
My parents dated, but they didn’t like how my generation was doing the dating thing, as they saw it in the eyes of a parent and were more mature in their Christian faith. They talked with my brother and I about it and the other way of “dating”, which was called courting. Now I’m not saying that my parents were completely against dating, because…they aren’t. They just wanted something different that would help minimize the possible break-up (which can still happen with courting, but it isn’t that common) and getting to physical.
As a pre-teen, I was totally against the idea of ever getting married. I didn’t want to date. I didn’t want kids. I didn’t want anything, really, except my independence.
When I was in middle school and high school, my mom assigned me some books. I didn’t really want to read them, but since they were on my syllabus, I read them. After listening to my mom telling me and teaching me how to be a wife and mother, after reading in the scripture about women and their calling to be submissive to their husbands, and reading these books, I suddenly had the change of heart to be a wife and be a mother. I also knew this…I didn’t want to date. I wanted to court.
Why I chose to court
Some of you might be wondering how I chose such a thing? I mean, it isn’t like it is the most popular thing out there…
I chose to court, because:
- I wanted to not be overly physical, until after marriage.
- I wanted my future husband to have a very good relationship with my whole family, and not just me.
- I wanted to purposefully date with marriage in mind, versus getting to know the person better.
- Above all…I want a relationship that is founded upon God.
Some of you may be saying, can’t you do this with dating? Yes, you can. However courting, to me at least, is where I come into a relationship with a guy with marriage as our ultimate goal. I know it sounds strange to just find a guy and decide that you only want to get in a relationship with him for marriage, I mean, what if he isn’t the right guy? I totally see what you mean and agree with you. That is why I like to look at men and study their character, their attitude toward Christ, their spiritual maturity, then their personal life. If I think we’d do good together, then yes, I would want to start a relationship with “him”. But I wouldn’t want to start a relationship with any man, just because he is interested in me…
What helped me spur my desire toward this courting goal, was actually reading these books:
I would highly recommend these to any single girls out there, just because they are just that awesome. 🙂
Yes…these two books helped me make the decision to court. I didn’t know that two books could do such a thing for me. I mean, really?
If you are looking for a few more books on this subject, these books I would recommend, because I know the authors style and know that anything they write is both biblically fundamental and clean enough for anyone age to read.
My decision is not and will not be everyone’s decision.
I am a unique person, created by Jesus Christ. I have a unique desire.
I just wanted to close this post out by saying that courting is not for everyone. My standards may not be your standards. We all just need to go the path that we feel that God has led us to go. If dating is your path, take it in stride. If courting is your choice of travel, be sure to pack some good walking shoes.
My desire to court is not the first I’ve heard of…I know there are many out there, and this is the reason I wrote this post. To help and encourage them.
May God bless in you in your preparation to knowing how to prepare for your future walk with your better half.I will receive commission on any sales made on my blog. To learn more, read my disclosure policy.